Tuesday, July 26, 2005

I want to hurt people

People freaking piss me off. I am hating the human race right now. I love how some man that sits behind a desk gets off on power trips. I wonder if he is just naturally a dick or if his life sucks that fucking much. So I get a call saying that I am not eligible for in state tuition because I don't work. I am here for educational purposes apparently and that is it. Oh, am I? I moved down here to start a new life. Not to enjoy the wonderful world of fucking community college. Um, yeah you stupid fucking bastard. I had all my school paid for by state funding and scholarships to a fucking university. Yes, it was a four year program. But I also could have gone to a private school, with a classroom size of 17 that offered an ASN. So here is what I say to you, FUCK YOU. I didn't move down here just to go to nursing school. I am so tired of justifying myself. I have worked my ass off since I was 18 and people act like I've been living off my mom forever. My mom is giving me a break. So fuck off! So hopefully I can get claimed on my mom's residency or I am screwed and can't go to school. Or I can go strip. Either choice is oh so lovely isn't it??

Sorry, I had to vent. I am stressing out just a tad bit because I have so much to do and now I have to deal with this. People suck ass.

I went over to G. Aunt's house last night. She just got out of the hospital. I swear these people are trying to make me fat. The first place we ate the food was delicious. It was a weird combo but still good. We had fried chicken, salad and ravioli. Ok, I LOVE fried chicken. I grew up on the stuff and will never turn now some good fried chicken. Especially home made. So I am watching everyone and they are eating it with ketchup. How weird is that??? I have never seen this. I always eat mine with hot sauce, like your suppose to. Ketchup and fried chicken just seem so WRONG. So the next relatives house I eat some pizza and chocolate bars, which I can turn neither of those down either. That's when I learn that in Trinidad they eat ketchup and mustard on their pizza. WTF people???????? I never again want to hear people make fun of my eating habits again. EVER. Not after last night. Hehehe. But I did eat way to much last night. I think I gained 10 pounds. I haven't eaten hardly anything today because I'm still full.

I had the worst dream the other night. I was looking in the mirror and I had this huge tumor on my neck and it had a freaking heartbeat of it's own. I mean that is just freaky and it was just so big. I woke up and freaked out. I hate dreams like that. They always freak me out. I guess my subconscious still has cancer anxiety. It is still strange to think that five years ago that I had cancer. Sometimes it feels like it never happened. I keep telling myself that I'm lucky and that I shouldn't let things get to me because I have been given another chance right? I mean I could be dead right now and I'm thinking that would pretty much suck. I would miss everyone way to much.:)

We were suppose to have a sandstorm today but I'm not sure if we actually did or not. I haven't been outside nor am I venturing out. I am being a complete lazy ass bum today. I went to the beach yesterday and it was alright. I hate the beach by my house. It always seems so dirty. Well, I hope I am going to have a better day tomorrow and the rest of the week. If not you will most likely see me on Headline News and it won't be pretty.

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