Littleneuroticthang

Is it really Friday????

I am having one of those days where things are just off. It's not like I'm having that bad of a day but things just aren't going the way I planned them. Kinda like my life, I suppose. I wonder how we get so off track sometimes.

I recovered finally from Friday night. Blah, that so sucked. I literally slept all day Saturday. I got up and showered and ate then went straight back to bed. I went to Club Space Sunday night to hear Deep Dish. I had so much fun. I haven't danced so much in a really long time. I really need to get out more. The music was fucking great. Miami has finally redeemed its self. :) I had been a little disappointed there for a spell but now that I'm getting out and exploring I'm finding it's not such a bad place. It's making me miss Chicago less and less.

I went and spent the Fourth with Rat bastard's family. G. has resorted back to his old name just because he is freaking annoying me. It was kinda weird. We hung out by the pool and ate then went and saw the fireworks. We just went down the street and they were so disappointing. I think we should of stuck with the original plan and headed to the beach. But at least we didn't have to deal with traffic.

Rat bastard took me out Wednesday night to celebrate me getting in. We went out to eat then decided to head to Las Olas to just walk around. We ended up going and watching Poof. It was a drag show and I have to say it was quite fun. They put on such a good show. I don't know why but I just love drag queens. I've never had a problem with homosexuality. I don't know. I just have never seen what the big deal is. Really.
Then we decided at last minute to head over to the voodoo because it was ladies night. It was annoying at first because people basically suck. I mean you are going to get bummed into on the dance floor. I'm cool with that. I've been going to clubs for a really long fucking time and raves before that. But dude, don't try to take up the whole dance floor and keep spilling your drink on me. WTF, drunk bastards. I ended up jumping on a block and danced. Fuck it, no then bothered me. It was weird because I'm usually very self conscious about how I look when I got out. But that night I just didn't care. I just went out in flip flops, jeans and tanks and had so much fun. What was very weird is guys buying me drinks when it's ladies night. I drink for free anyways. But if you want to waste your money, go ahead.

So, Rat bastard thinks he wants something from me. Two years ago I would have loved to hear him say that he loved me. But now it just breaks my heart because I realize that we are not good for each other and I know he doesn't mean it. I don't know which hurts more. I just think that he is going through so much right now and he just needs someone to hang on to. I just can't be that person. I will be a friend and help him but I can't be anything else. I can't handle another heartbreak right now. Especially with school about to start.

I think I am going to stay in tonight and to some reorganizing. I have an empty bedroom that is just sitting there and it seems kinda silly. Well, I thought I was going to the Cubs game Saturday but it seems that I'm not. I'm kind pissed of at this new guy. Don't tell me something and then don't follow through. I hate that. I think he just may have made my shit list. Why do people always have to disappoint. Why can't I just be surprised by something good for once?

posted by pixie @ 10:31 AM