I will begin my fast tomorrow Insha'Allah! I was unable to fast the last two days. I hope this doesn't affect Eid day. Wonderful things a woman has to worry about.:/
Today was rough. Baby Girl got her 2month vaccinations today. I hated seeing her in pain and she has been sleeping most of the day. Only wakes up to eat and then falls back to sleep.
So I am going to try and make this a good Ramadan. I really need it. I haven't been very Spiritual lately and my soul and spirit really need it.Ramadan Goals
- Fast (kinda a given)
- Pray all prayers on time.
- Read Quran for 5 min. daily
- Learn at least one new Surah
- Attend 2-3 Tarawih's a week. This one might be harder now that I have a little one.
- Attend the last night of Quran recitation.
- Spend time with family
- Make lots of dua
- No swearing
- No television when I'm fasting
- Start to purge and organize my life. I wish I could have gotten the apartment ready before hand but these things happen.
Wish me luck!!! May Allah accept are fast and duas in this great month of Ramadan!!!!!!!!!!!
Woke up to the AC not working. I sent peanut over to my MIL till it's fixed. I guess I will lose these last 10lbs. by sweating them out!!!!!!!!!!! It is so FREAKING HOT!!!!!!!!
And Life Will Never Be the Same....
So, my adventure into actual motherhood began on a Saturday night. I had been feeling like crap for the last two weeks with some Braxton hicks off and on. They were few and far between so I wasn't concerned and I had an OB appoint for that Wed. so I was just taking it easy. No nightly walks because I was feeling like crap and most of my day was spent on the couch watching really bad tv.
I wasn't very productive most of my pregnancy because I was dead tired and suffered from morning sickness (really every minute of the freaking day sickness) up unitl 24-25 weeks. I started to finally feel better then came the insomnia and shortness of breath. I felt freaking HUGE. And when you are 5'0 there really isn't a whole lot of room.
So that Saturday I actually got this huge urge to nest. I had it off and on since 15 weeks but this was so different. I HAD to get it done. DH came home and was debating on going out. I told him "Go you really don't know when your next chance will be!". It was 10pm and DH had just gotten out the shower and I was in the laundry room and dancing and singing to "Shake your Booty" on Pandora. Right as soon as the song was done I felt it. Apparently I shook my booty to hard because I felt a gush! I was praying to God to please let me just have peed my pants.
Nope, my water broke. I was freaking out!!! It was too early!!!!!!!! I was only 33 Weeks and one day!! Thank God DH hadn't left yet. Our friends had just pulled up to pick him up when it happened.
So we rushed to the ED which is great because the hospital that I was delivering at is only 7 min. away. DH wanted to call his mom and have her meet us there but I was in no mood for anyone just yet. My poor mom is in Orlando which is 2-4 hours away depending on who is driving. I told my mom not to come because I didn't want her to miss work for a false alarm. She's an RN also and had also worked that day. I didn't want to do that to her!
So we got to the ED and it took for freaking ever to get up to Labor and Delivery. I mean, hello, premature baby on the way people. I was gushing water everywhere which was just so much fun. I finally arrived in L/D at 10:30. I was not a happy camper.
My nurse was AWESOME. My time I was in the room I started to feel contractions. It didn't feel to bad and it felt like menstrual cramps.
She place the IV and placed the monitors on. I was dilated 1cm. and she started the Mag Sulfate to stop the contractions. I knew it wasn't going to be pleasant getting the Mag Sulfate but I didn't realize how truly horrible it makes you feel. I felt flushed and vomited twice. Good times!
Then they started coming on hard and fast. In my mind I wasn't wanting to think that they were actual contractions because I was so not ready to have a baby!!! The pain was horrible. I was fine until about 1:00am and they were just bad. All that breathing crap went out the window.
My nurse came in to place the foley and that did not go well at all. It was so painful to be on my back. Every time I was on my back it was just excruciating. It literally took 1o min. to get the damn thing in. Then I begged the nurse to please take it out. It hurt so freaking bad!!!!!!!!! I've had Foley catheters before but this was just not working for me. I'm really embarrassed on how I acted but I just could not tolerate the pain.
She asked if I wanted stadol and I said "Yes!!! Anything please!!!!!!!". She checked me and I was 3cm. Crap.
She then asked if I wanted to go ahead with the Epidural. I have never wanted anything so bad in my life. This was at 2am.
While she was on the phone the pain intensified. I literally thought that this is it. I'm just not made for this and I'm going to die from the pain right here and now. It felt like my inside was being turned inside out. All of sudden I felt the urge to push. I was freaking out because I'm still thinking that I'm 3cm and how the hell could I have progressed so fast. I yelled at DH to get the nurse NOW!
I guess she threw the phone down when he told her. She came in checked me and her exact words were, "Oh, shit!". I was 10 cm and I was already pushing. Couldn't stop it at all. Of course she is telling me not to push but I could not stop my body.
The NICU team was there and it took all of 1o mins. to push her out!!! The pushing part felt so good!
Ironically that was the part I was most terrified of. Well, the doctor made it in time to cut the cord and deliver my placenta. Which is the weirdest feeling. I ended up with a first degree laceration and had to have some stitching. Boo to that! I'm forever grateful to my nurse because she was awesome and so was DH.
So 4 hours of labor, no pain meds and 10 min. of pushing I had my baby girl!:)
I got to hold baby girl for about 3 min. before they took her away. Her apgar scores rocked, 8 and 9 so that was relief!!!! I was just amazed by her but the worst feeling was having her taken away from me. But the nurses in NICU were awesome and I never felt she was in bad hands at all.
I was awake for 24 hours. Could not sleep at all even though I was exhausted! The postpartum nurses were not that great. I was going to request a private room but because of the circumstances they gave me a private room without me asking. That was nice. Because it would have been so hard seeing other women with their babies.
Labels: birth story, pregnancy
It's Been A Long Time.....
Wow. It has been a long time since I've blogged!!!!!!!! So much as changed yet so much hasn't! The biggest change is that after 4 years of trying and three losses that I am now finally a MOM!!!
I had a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy in 2007 and 2008. Then finally got a positive pregnancy test on Mother's Day 2010, of all days. Yet that wasn't meant to be. Wish really sucked since our moms were super excited to get that Mother's Day gift.
So I gave birth to a wonderful little girl named Sarah on May 22, 2o11. She was 7 weeks early but she has been a fighter since day one! She is now home and doing great!!!!
So in the last couple of years....
1. I did graduate nursing school in May 2007. I passed the NCLEX on the first try in Sept. 2007!!!!!! Yeah, I canceled three times because I was so freaking scared of that test!!! Best news ever when I called and got the news that I passed.
2. I've had two nursing jobs in the last 4 years. I am now not working and haven't been since Nov. 2010. Long story that I won't bore anyone with but it was decided because I had a really bad scare with peanut. Baby comes first!!! Will be joining the workforce again after Ramadan!
3. I lost my two kitties, Caesar and Shakespeare. Caesar had to be put to sleep in Aug. 2008. We never really found out what the cause was but it was not easy and he was in a lot of pain. Worst day of my life. But he was 11 years old and had a good life. Poor Shakespeare passed last April of Liver Cancer. I found out that week and was getting ready to make a decision and he started acting like a kitten again. I knew it was the end. I got the news Monday and found him on Friday morning. He was 16 years old and gave me so much happiness in those 16 years.
4. Me and DH moved and our saving for a house next year. The plan was to buy one this summer but plans changed when peanut came along! My savings and credit have also taken quite the hit with me not working. Such is life I guess.
5. I've been on some really great small in country vacations. In 2008 I finally got to Trinidad!! It was great to finally see the place that DH is from!
There is much more but I guess I should get off here and try to get some things done since Peanut is sleeping!!!!!!!!
A Saturday filled with nothing
I had a nice little list of things to accomplish and little projects to do. Know what I got done? None of it. I was a totally useless blob of nothingness. It felt great though!:)
So I was feeling really crappy the last couple of days. Depressed and highly disappointed
in people. I hate that I let people get to me.
So I'm saying goodbye to blogger and moving. I think I am just fed up wit bloggers
problems. My new home is pixiesunshine.wordpress.com
I'm not thrilled with the name but I'm not very creative when coming up with names. And pixie was already taken, the nerve.
:) But I like that if you want to keep a post private you can.
A very late meme....
Muslim Wife tagged me back in December. I guess I'm a little late, hahah
Seven Things I want to do in life:
1. Earn my masters
2. Buy a home
4. Become a mom
5. Visit Ireland, next year, insha'allah
6. Stop procrastinating
7. Learn to live for the moment
Seven Things I can do:
1. make some darn good pies
2. drive a stick
3. play the clarinet
7. Procrastinate like there is no tomorrow
Seven Things I can’t do:
3. read Arabic
5. understand people
7. write interesting
Seven things I say the most:
#$, usually while driving
4. that's just crazy talk
7. I'm going crazy!
Things that attract me to the opposite sex
: 1. my
7. even though he can drive me crazy
Seven Celebrity Crushes:
2. Orlando Bloom
3. I guess that's it.
Not a bloody Sunday
Well, I am in a much better mood. It's the start of a new week and I must say it has gotten off to a fabulous
start! Of course that could be due to the fact that I have done nothing
today. I started of my day with a walk on the beach followed by a day spent reading and discovering You Tube
. I never went on you tube before but I find it quite entertaining. I watched the first episode of Little Prairie
on the Mosque. I'm not sure if I like it or not. It had it's funny moment but I'm not sure if I'm sold on it yet.
My instructor called me. I'm relieved to find out that I only have to do three case studies to make up for my time. Hopefully they aren't too bad. She is also giving me until next week to do them which totally rocks! Of course I'm going to the library and get the done on Tuesday, Insha'allah
I have so many thoughts going on my head through out the day that I would like to post about and when it comes time I never remember them. Maybe I should start carrying a recorder around! LOL!
I have had the week from Hell. I am so glad that tomorrow is Sunday and I get to start a new week, blah!
Things that totally sucked this week:
1. My exam. I pretty sure that it was written in Greek.
2. My ER experience. I have come to the realization
that I'm a complete idiot who knows nothing. LOVELY!
3. Getting a stomach virus and being sick on a clinical day. Oh, and that would be the day I would have to turn my paper in! So, not only do I have to make up the day with something ultra boring but I'm pretty sure my instructor
thinks I didn't have my paper done. Great!
4. Having someone ask me "are you sure you are in 4th
Things that rocked, very, very short list.
1. Having an awesome man who will bring me soup, crackers and soda during his lunch hour when he found out I was sick. I think I'll keep him:)