Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thursday at Last!

Funny but the weekends actually mean something to me now. I was just complaining a couple of months ago how they were just another day. Now I can't wait until Thursday! Of course I have stuff to actually do but it means that I don't have to be up at 4 freaking 30 in the morning.

I had my second Theory test yesterday. I studied but not as much as I should have. It was quite hard and some people actually failed it. Of course I didn't. :) But to fail it you have to have less than a 75%. Oh, the joys of nursing school. I finally started studying for my Pharm. test today. I meet with my study group Sunday and we are meeting both on Monday and Tuesday after clinical. This one is going to be really hard because it will be the first with drugs.

I had my neighbor call today. Well, he isn't my neighbor anymore. I guess he needed a place to stay. He was hinting around it but I can't let anyone stay with me. First, not my place. It's really moms. Second, I can't have any distractions. Third, I really don't know him all that well. I would be different if it was C. or a female. Then it I might consider it. I feel kinda bad but I can't help everyone right?

I got to talk to C. tonight. We have made Thursday night our night we catch up. I told him how I might actually go out this Sat. Baby is really itching to go out. I told him to go without me but he doesn't want to. C. was shocked because he couldn't believe that I have turned him into a homebody. Hehee. But it's not by choice. I would love to go out. He still can't believe how different he is. But it has only been what, three months. We'll wait and see. I'm to the point where I'm not waiting for him to fuck up and that worries me in a way. I guess I am just still a little worried at times.

I really need to call people. I still haven't gotten A. or my sis's birthday packages out. It has been a freaking month since their birthdays. I need an assistant. Hehehe.

I hear wedding bells! J &P are getting married on Oct. 7th! They are the cutest couple. They really work so well with each other. It's funny how you don't hang out with someone even though you grow up with them, marry other people for 10 years, get divorce and then find your other half. And they were in the same town the whole time. Freaky. I can't wait until they get down here. 90 Days!!!!

I'm ordering pizza tonight. Yum, I have been craving it all week. I really need to go to the store and get some veggies. I have been eating so bad lately. All well. Maybe I will try to get some exercise in. But who am I kidding?
Well off to the books. freaking again.

Funny, I spelled assistant wrong and spell check gave me assassin. I guess if I had one of those life would be quite interesting. hehehehe
Oh, and it would like to replace Pharm. with Porn. Boy spell checker has one messed up little mind.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Saying Goodbye Sucks

I went with my boyfriend's mom to the airport to drop his sis and nephew off. I am going to miss that little man so much!! I can't believe how attached I have become to him. It funny how little one win your heart so fast isn't it? He knew he was leaving and as been so loving the last two days. All hugs and kisses. We went out to this Greek place last night and it was lively to say the least. There was a Greek family celebrating a birthday and they were up dancing around the table and it was very fun to watch. I love it when people are happy and celebrate. I never understood how people can be so reserved. My friend D. is like that. He doesn't understand how people just get up and dance. To me dancing is like breathing. I mean how can you not dance? But I digress. The food was pretty damn amazing. Yum, I had some good leftovers today.

I got out of clinical an hour early today. Which would have been nice but there are people on my roof banging away. Some one is outside my window as I write. Kinda freaking me out. Hopefully this will be done by tomorrow. I have no clinical tomorrow! Woo-hoo!!! I need the extra day to catch up on my Pharm and we have a theory exam on Wed. Which I am extremely nervous about. I keep telling myself a B is still good.

My sis was ok. Thank goodness! I was so worried about her but it missed her by 100 miles. I wish that we lived closer. I hate not being there when the baby is born. I hate missing the shower and I hate that I have to be away from another nephew. Ok, I'm done whining. I just miss my sister!

Clinical was good today. I got my groove back. It has been a really long time since I have worked as an aid. We still get to work in groups of two next week but we will have two patients then it's on our own. That's when I'll be nervous. I feel confident when someone else is there! Well, I need to go and catch up on my email and eat dinner. Ciao!

Friday, September 23, 2005

I was getting out my Halloween stuff today and I can't believe how time flies. Mom left for Virginia in Oct. last year. She'll be in Cali. this October. Hopefully I will get to spend my birthday with her. I remember when she left for VA. She was so worried about me. My car wasn't running and funds were tight because she had been out of work for awhile and wasn't quite caught up yet. Funny how just a couple months out of work and it can upset your life so much. But anyways.......... I was back in school, my first semester after taking a two year break. I had to take a bus to the train and then another bus to school. I knew no one and had to learn to be truly self sufficient. I smiled at my mom and said everything would be fine. I was terrified inside. I wasn't so sure if I could make it on my own without anyone. But me being me I just can't show people when I'm scared.

When I had cancer, I just smiled and told everyone that it was fine. I had a good cancer, no way was I scared! I only broke down once and that was with mom, before I actually knew. I felt that if I was strong that it would keep everyone strong. Really I just wanted to stay in bed and cry.

I tell people how scared I am yet no one believes me. I really am afraid that I have no clue to what I am doing.

Between a rock and a hard place.

My sis is in Houston and my brother is in Louisiana. I know my sis is inland but that doesn't make me feel much better. If you live in Florida you know that inland really does mean crap when you talk about a 4. Look at what Charley did. I'm glad that she is prepared though. It's my brother who I am worried about. He is in Louisiana and it could hit there. I haven't heard from him and I'm not sure if he will be prepared like sis. I know if it hits there it will be bad. This sucks.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


It's funny where life will take you isn't it? I mean how you can be on a path and you end up somewhere you never in a million years thought you would be. I for one thought I would never end up in Florida again. I had my heart set on staying in Chicago. I love Chicago, except for the freaking snow. I always told people, ew Florida sucks ass. Yet, here I am living in a paradise. Well, almost paradise. HEHEHE. I mean I never thought I could take a drive and be at the beach 15 min. away from my house. That in Jan. I wouldn't be digging my car out of 5ft. of snow. Of course who knows if I will stay here. I don't know if I would want to raise my kids here.

Never in a million years would I find someone that I am crazy about on vacation and then move 5 min. away from their mom. How weird is that??

I never thought I would be in nursing school. I use to want to be a nurse when I was a kid and then my mom became one and I thought it sucked. But yet here I am, going to nursing school and enjoying it!

Whoever said life was a journey knew what they were talking about. I just know that it's nice to be happy. Truly happy. Not all sunshine and all that crap but I guess content. Knowing that you made decisions and that they are the right ones.
What is hard to believe is that in 29 days I will be 30! When did that happen?:) I don't feel it. Yet I do. Of course I thought my life would be much different by this time but hey stuff happens and for once I think I'm finally on the right course.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Surprise, Surprise

Well, I really thought that I had failed my first Pharmacology test. That fucker was hard! And what made it worse was everyone talking about how easy it was. WTF??? Did we take the same freaking test?? Well, guess who got the highest score on the exam and won herself a brand new drug book!!!! I about fell over when she said I was the one to score the highest. And what is surprising is this class is kicking my ass. An easy class, no. I will be jumping up and down with joy if I get a B.

I had a couple of weird ass dreams last night. The first was about school, showing how it has become my life. Blah. The other was about pulling dried macaroni out of my ear. What in the world does that mean?

I hope that Rita slows her ass back to a category 2. She best not do anything to my sis's roof! I will tell that biatch a thing or two. It sucks cause sis is seven months preggo and if the power goes out, the poor thing will be so miserable. I guess people were really rude to her at Sam's Club yesterday. People get freaking crazy during hurricanes. She asked for help when she left and they lady actually told her that "well I guess you better find someone to help you." That bitch better be glad I don't live in Houston.

D. is still bugging the hell out of me. Why did you pick G. over me. Why did he spend the night the first night I was there. Did I have a chance if I pursued you last year. Well, lets see some answers to those questions. I picked G. because I am attracted to him, I like him, he is really good to me, he gets me, we have a great time together, ect..... I told him the reason he spent the night is because I wanted him to, not because I didn't trust him. Please. I would cut him so bad he would never have the chance to have sex. And no, you would not have a chance last year. Um, how about NEVER. People annoy the fuck out of me.

We had this conversation and he said he didn't know why single moms had there babies. Why don't they just have an abortion he says. Um, gee I wonder why you are still single. I was actually dumbfounded when he said that. He said it was the EASY way out. I just want to shake some sense into that boy. And to think we are the same age. He doesn't get women at all. I mean not at all. He told me I looked like a duck last time he was here. I was suppose to take that as a complement. First, I do NOT look like a duck. I have never seen anyone who does. Second, if I did look like a duck, please don't point it out. I think I would already know something like that.

Me and a couple of girls were talking after class today and she asked if we were overwhelmed. I said I am walking around in a constant state of confusion. Seriously. I am good to know my first name right now. I told her it's normal and the people that act like it's easy just have really good poker faces. I will laugh at anyone who says nursing school is easy. I also don't want them taking care of me or anyone in my family. I can tell you that. It's not easy but I love it.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Rainy Boring Day

Well, we are having the most pleasant weather today.:) Except for the rain it is nice. I have my windows open so there is a nice breeze and I finally get to air out my apartment. Something I haven't been able to do since May. It's very nice.

I had my first patient today. We gave him a bedbath, fed him and took his vitals.
He was on restraints and they were the kind I have never seen before. We had to have our instructor come in and show us how to reapply them. He wasn't violent or anything. Just a fall risk. I felt bad because he was like "Why do I need these? I promise I won't get out of bed." Broke my heart.:(
The nurse said if he had someone to sit with him they wouldn't have to restrain him.
It wasn't bad at all. He was very nice about the whole thing. The nurse was also very nice. One wasn't. Glad we didn't get her. I don't know why some are so mean. I just hope she was having a bad day and she really isn't that way.

I went to IHOP afterwards today. Our patient had french toast for breakfast and I was craving it from that moment on. So I decided to go get me some. It was damn tasty.
I was exhausted yesterday. I ended up taking a three hour nap at baby's yesterday. And still went to bed a 10. Is that not craziness??? M. was being such a goofball yesterday. I am going to miss that boy when he goes back to Jersey. I'll probably right more later tonight. Not that anyone actually reads this.:) hehehe. Ciao.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Tired am I

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. I feel like my brain will explode at any moment. I missed out on Coldplay. You have no idea how close I was to going. But I put school first. Damn, I feel like such an adult. I have so much reading to do. I mean oddles. There will be 11 chapters on my Theory exam. And they are not easy small chapters. Assesments, vital signs, critical thinking and much, much more. Guess what I will be doing all weekend?

I really think I screwed up my Pharm. exam. The computer wiz was out so we had to do paper test. So I won't find out my grade until next Wed. Whaaa. I knew the material but the questions were HARD. I went and got all my skills done today. Woo-Hoo! She just made me talk my way through it. She said it was basic stuff so it was ok. Which it is.

The hopsital was good yesterday. We had to do our Interpersonals yesterday. Then I went over to Starbucks with my study group and studied for three hours. See why my brain wants to run for the hills?

Mom is outside of San Fransico right now. G-d I miss her. But at least I get to go to Cali!!!

There was this girl talking about how this other girl is a genius because she takes five classes at once and gets all A's in them. Since when does that make you a fucking genius???? WTF?? Um, hello, that makes you a fucking college student. If you are a genius you would be in med school at the crazy age of 16 or 18. People fucking annoy me.

I can't wait till Thurs! Baby is taking me out. We haven't been out in a long time. Then we are going out with another couple Friday. I told him is taking me to Chili's Thursday night. I want the appetizer dinner. Yum...boneless buffalo wings, spinach dip and quesadillas. Tasty! Of course we will not be visting the one down the road. Screw those fucking bastards.

There is a girl from New Orleans in our nursing class. Jeb open all schools to the hurricane victims. I thought that was really nice. The poor girl has a month's worth of work to catch up on. Ouch. I am glad that they let her in. I would freak out if I got into a program and my school closed on me.

Off I go. I should be studying but I think I am going to take a breather tonight. My brain really hurts.
My spell check isn't working so sorry for all the spelling errors. I don't feel like doing it myself. What can I say? I'm a lazy biatch.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Hospital Orientation

I had my hospital orientation today. The floor seems nice and clean. I am on a med/surg floor of course. We went around and saw where the supplies were and checked out some of the equipment. Then we got to do Accu Checks on each other. I use to do those on Nana all the time but there's a machine that you have to use that's for the hospital. I got out early so Baby took me to lunch at La Bamba's. I am still stuffed. Then we headed over to Office Depot next door. I had to get a couple of things for school.

I am so bummed out. I have a ticket to Coldplay and I can't go!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrr. I have an exam in Pharmacology Wed. morning at 8:30. The concert is Tuesday night in West Palm Beach. Considering I have to be up at 4:30 and on the Turnpike by 6:30 there is no way to go. I am so heartbroken. The sacrifices we I really wanted to see Coldplay.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

I miss my weekends!

Well, today I have my first skills check off to go to. It is a pain in the ass. I wish she would have checked us off last week like the other instructors. I am going to try to get bed bath, bedmaking and oral care today. Then Wed. I am going to try to get my vital signs, shaving and restraints out of the way. Then I still have ted hose, i/o, and safety to do. Ugh. I also have to be studying for my first Pharm test that is Wed.

I got an A on my first Theory test. The computer wasn't that bad. It was nice because we got our results right there and then. I got my calculations test out of the way. I needed an 80 to pass and got a 90. I missed two easy questions too. I can't believe I got tsp. and mL questions wrong! Mom says I was going to fast. She told me to slow down. That is a big problem with me and test. I really should have gotten a 100. I took the practice test and didn't' miss any.

G. car got a flat yesterday. Which sucks because he was going to put a new radiator in my car this weekend. It will have to be next weekend. I was suppose to go out to dinner with him and his brother in law from NY but I was just too tired last night. I was in bed by 11. How sad is that?? I spent the night Thurs. night at his house and his nephew wore me out. He's two and boy is he a handful. Non stop energy. But he is so sweet. We are at the dinner table and G. was finished with his water. Well, M. comes up and goes "do you want more water?" Then he hands me the cup and says "go get G. water, M." Bossy little thing he is. He made G. call me Tues. night to talk to me. He talks to me more on the phone now than my boyfriend!

Well, I need to shower and read and get going. I hope this skills lab is easy.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

I am so tired. I came home and intended to sleep for about 30 min. or so. Yeah, right. I passed the f out. Funny, I got up around 6 all weekend and felt fine. I wake up one hour early and it kilss me. What the hell is up with that?

I finally got checked off on my BP today. I have to make an appointment to do my other skills this weekend. I need bedmaking, bedbath, peri care, oral care and vital signs. We have our first Theory test tomorrow. I feel like I'm prepared. I need to go over my notes again and then the study guide. I studied all weekend. Maybe that's why I'm exhausted. I used to much brain power.

I have to find another way to school. The turnpike sucks, 95 sucks ass too. I left early today so I could get in some reading and I ended up being 10 mins. late! Grrrrrrr. Dumbass accidents and then it rained so you know people had to do fucking 40. WTF?? But I wasn't the only one late. I just HATE being late!

I have so much to do. I need 5 more hours in my day. I also miss everyone. I need more time!!!!